So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
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There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
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I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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