what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
