I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
What a dumb baby whore.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
