I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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