it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I wish i was in the wii world.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
