no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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