I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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