Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
