Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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