im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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