i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
