So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
