She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
just found out that she named her cat after me.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
