PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
