You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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