I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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