If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
