Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I deserve this hangover.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
