Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
