Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
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