Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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