You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
