You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
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