Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
