Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
God, I missed his penis.
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