So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
