we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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