How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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