Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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