You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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