I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
