Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
