I think I am morally bankrupt
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
