I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
this will be a night to untag.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Randomize
