Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Randomize
