Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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