i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
what day is it and did you see me today?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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