He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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