worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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