OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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