i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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