Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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