She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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