Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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