We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
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