He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Randomize
