You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
