My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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