Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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