How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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