We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
