You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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