So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
