winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
dude. I can hear the air.
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