what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
