maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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