Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
