Jerry, you need to find god
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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