Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
